the way i am

penny pinching

2010-08-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

Someone suggested that I take a look at southernsavers.com. It all about using coupons and saving tons of money monthly on your groceries. I was wondering if anyone else does this and how it works for them. I think I'm gonna give it a go this month. I am all about saving some extra money. I make a budget each month and I always seem to need more and more money just for groceries each month. It's getting a bit ridiculous. I'm still a skeptic at this point, but I have decided I can't be against it until I try.

1 1/2 years is too long

2010-08-25T15:18:00.000-07:00

So a lot has changed since the last time I blogged. To be honest, I kinda forgot I even had this thing. Anywho, I noticed the last time I did blog was right after I started nursing school. School took up my entire life until about the beginning of June this year. I officially graduated and passed boards. WOOHOO... now to find a job... I'm not in that big of a hurry. Then, June 19th came and I've been busy with our new baby boy Asher. :) He's definitely a keeper and the good Lord kept his promise and gave me a child like Kenny instead of another one like myself! He must have believed me when I told him I could only handle one strong willed child. Naturally the bigger she gets, the bigger antics. Just in the last months she has peed in a cup, sanded my freshly painted front door, painted my new wood floor (laid by Kenny) with dark purple fingernail polish and continously pinned the cat down while the dog takes a free shot. As crazy as things can get, she always has loved just as big. I love the agreesive hugs and kisses I get everyday, being told I love you all day long and that she's glad I am home with her. Melts my heart. Maybe she just knows if her sweet side didn't show up every once in a while I'd go nuts. That's my update. I hope to be a little more faithful this time around!

new direction

2009-01-22T10:58:00.000-08:00

So, I went to the doctor's yesterday bc my left ear has been ringing for the past week and will not stop. It's quite annoying! What's also annoying is the visit I had. First I am told that they will not do anything for my ear until it has been ringing for over a month. That's crazy! I'm finding it hard to concentrate, even sleep but I have to wait a month? Since I was there I thought I would ask about my chest xray since no one had called me. She informed me that it was normal, but since my tb test for positive I still had to do the treatment to keep the disease from being active. Blah. So, apparently you try to do treatment through the health department bc it's kinda expensive. So, the dr. called over there to get me all set up. However, they kept arguing about whether I should have the treatment or not. By this time I'm real confused. Finally, the dr asks me what my tb test measured at. I said 5 mm, which she then hung up the phone and informed me that if a test is measured at 5 mm then it is negative. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? So, really my test was NEVER negative, someone just didn't know what they were doing when they read it. Sigh.... I am glad I never had tb, but man what a freaking mess to have dealt with. So, the tb drama is over! I hope.. :)

In other news... lately I have felt like I have no purpose. I know I am a mom and a wife and don't get me wrong I LOVE it, but I mean more in a ministry sense. I'm not particularly welcomed to have a ministry of my own at our church or to really help Kenny that much... not real sure why they see a problem with that, but I'm trying to get over it. :) I had really been wondering if I should do this whole nursing thing or not. I love science and the idea of being a nurse, but it seems like most people just want to make a lot of money. I want to be helping people! So, I was reading one of my books preparing for class and I found this...

"Traditional female roles of wife, mother, daughter, and sister have always included the care and nurturing of other family members. From the beginning of time, women have cared for infants and children: thus, nursing could be said to have its roots in the home. Religion has also played a huge role in the development of nursing. It was the Christian value of "love thy neighbor as thy self" and Christ's parable of the Good Samaritan that had a significant impact on the development of Western nursing. Early religious values, as self-denial, spiritual calling, and devotion to duty and hard work, have dominated nursing throughout history. For some time, nurses themselves believe it was inappropriate to expect economical grain from their calling to be a nurse."

I know it's kinda long, but I thought it was pretty neat. I'm not at a christian college, nor am I surrounded by christians, yet in this standard nursing book I found that. It goes on to say how women only became nurses once they felt God had called them to help people in that way. They were actually living out the spiritual gift of hospitality. This gave a renewed longing to be a nurse. I am not interested in all the 21st century reasons I should be a nurse. I want to help people and I'm not sure I should get paid so well to do so. I have no idea where I will work when I am done or where Kenny and I will even end up, but I know that I want to be different. I can only pray that God will show me a way I can use nursing to help those who need nursing care and can't afford it, or those who don't know they need it, ect. This life is too short to worry about all the things we need instead of what those around us need. I don't want to waste my life trying to chase the "american dream." I want to tangibly live out the ideas of the church in Acts. I can only pray and believe God will guide me through every step of the way.

update

2009-01-13T11:24:00.000-08:00

hello everyone! i thought i would update on the whole tb issues, i will warn you though, i still don't have all the answers. while i was in ny i had ella get tested. her test was negative and she does not have tb. PRAISE THE LORD! Kenny still has to be tested and I still don't know the complete results of my tests. They sent my chest xray to the school for them to see whether i can still do nursing school or not. i went yesterday to find out and they said that everything was fine and i could start school. so that was a relief. however, i still don't know whether my xray just shows i have inactive tb or that it was a mistake and i never had it at all. hopefully i will find out soon. the drs office is being a little slow. if it's inactive i go on treatment, so i'm still hoping it was a mistake. we shall see.

in other news, ella is the sweetest thing ever. i missed her so much being away for four days, but it makes my time with her now so much better. she is getting so big and her hair is getting so long! i can't wait for everyone to see her again!

i did also start nursing school yesterday. it was ok. the first days are never fun bc of all the boring first day stuff. i'm sure it will get better. the thing that sucks is being away from ella. mondays are the worst tho and that's over! i am only gone 530 to 920 on tues and thurs nights so that worked out well. of course i will miss the bedtime routine and getting to say goodnight, but at least i get to spend most of the day with her. i'm going to just keep trying to look at the bright side! i hope everyone is doing well. miss you!

latest news

2009-01-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

As most of you know I had been planning on starting nursing school on Jan 12th. I was given some papers that had to be filled out to enter the program. Things like a having a physical, proof of vaccinations, and having two tb tests taken. Piece of cake right? Well it was gonna be until I had my first tb test. For anyone who doesn't know, a tb test tells you whether you have been exposed to the tuberculosis virus or not. Well, I got my test, which I have had in the past and of course expected to be negative. I had even been thinking to myself how stupid it was that I had to have two tb tests done when I knew I didn't have it! I mean I thought tuberculosis was for the pilgrims of something. Anywho, before the 48 hours were up I had a huge welt on my arm. I could have died! Of course it wasn't normal and it turns out my first tb test was positive. (this was christmas eve). I was pretty upset for a couple different reasons, not limited to: not being able to do school, worried about kenny and ella, not to mention all the other hundreds of people I have been around, and pretty mad that someone had it and was around me and didn't find it necessary to tell me. After I calmed down a bit I did some research. Apparently you can have tb and it be active or inactive. If it is inactive it just means you were around someone who had an active form, but you were healthy enough that your body fought the infection and "killed" it in your lungs where it still rests. If you are inactive you are not contagious... which is good. So, I had to have a chest xray to prove whether I had an active or inactive form of tb. If it is inactive I can continue with school, if active I cannot. The other stupid thing is my doctor thinks I got it in Thailand which means I have had it for years, including during my pregnancy. So, I very well could have passed it through the placenta to Ella. Thankfully every doctor I have seen says it has to be inactive. Plus, Ella's doctor says that if it would have been active I would have passed it to her and that would have been a very serious complication during the first few days of her lives. In other words we would have known by now if I had passed it on to her that way. If you are young and healthy it usually is inactive. Plus, I have never had any of the symptoms which include: high fevers, uncontrollable coughing, and major weight loss. So, as you read this please don't freak out thinking I contaminated you. I have decided to post all of this because I would like your prayers. Even though the tb is inactive, I have to go through 6 months of treatment. Anytime in my life the tb can decided to turn active if it chooses. This is why most people die when they are older of it. Once they are not that healthy anymore their body can't fight the bacteria anymore and it spreads to other parts of their body. I also would ask for prayers that I did indeed get tb from Thailand because if not then that means more than likely the person I was around who gave it to me also gave it to Kenny and Ella. I don't want Ella to have to go through such a rough treatment. I know this is a long post and kinda personal, but I need your prayers! Thanks!

stay out of the dog house

2008-12-18T17:17:00.000-08:00

i thought this was cute and appropriate for the holiday season. Enjoy :)

this is for betsy

2008-12-16T17:53:00.000-08:00

i also have bolded the things i have done and comments are in red.

1. started your own blog

never write on it enough

2. slept under the stars

3. played in a band

4. visited hawaii

5. watched a meteor shower

6. given more than you can afford to charity

not sure this is possible

7. been to disneyland/world

can't wait to take ella!

8. climbed a mountain

9. held a praying mantis

10. sang a solo

11. bungee jumped

12. visited paris

13. watched a lightning storm

14. taught yourself an art from scratch

parenting my first child :)

15. adopted a child

really really want to someday!

16. had food poisoning

and never been back to ponderosa... or should i say pondergrosa!

17. walked to the top of the statue of liberty

18. grown your own vegetables

19. seen the mona lisa in france

20. slept on an overnight train

from Chaing Mai to Bangkok.... worst night ever. you can't stretch out and they don't turn out the lights.

21. had a pillow fight

favorite family pastime as a kid

22. hitch hiked

23. taken a sick day when you're not ill

def. when i worked at cracker barrel

24. built a snow fort

25. held a lamb

26. gone skinny dipping

27. run a marathon

28. ridden in a gondola in venice

29. seen a total eclipse

30. watched a sunrise or sunset

31. hit a home run

32. been on a cruise

33. seen niagara falls in person

34. visited the birthplace of your ancestors

scotland... so much fun and so beautiful!

35. seen an amish community

36. taught yourself a new language

37. had enough money to be truly satisfied

what a dumb question

38. seen the leaning tower of pisa in person

39. gone rock climbing

40. seen michelangelo's david

41. sung karaoke

i can't believe i haven't done this

42. seen old faithful geyser erupt

43. bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

in nashville, tn for june bug and his friend (can't remember the friends name)

44. visited africa

45. walked on a beach by moonlight

46. been transported in an ambulance

too many times

47. had your portrait painted

48. gone deep sea fishing

49. seen the sistine chapel in person

50. been to the top of the eiffel tower in paris

51. gone scuba diving or snorkeling

on my honeymoon... it was so cool!

52. kissed in the rain

pretty sure we were in the pool also

53. played in the mud

54. gone to a drive-in theater

55. been in a movie

56. visited the great wall of china

57. started a business

58. taken a martial arts class

59. visited russia

60. served at a soup kitchen

61. sold girl scout cookies

62. gone whale watching

63. got flowers for no reason

64. donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. gone sky diving

loved watching my family! i want to so bad, but kenny won't go with me :(

66. visited a nazi concentration camp

67. bounced a check

68. flown in a helicopter

unfortunately i was being lifelined

69. saved a favorite childhood toy

70. visited the lincoln memorial

71. eaten caviar

72. pieced a quilt

73. stood in times square

love nyc

74. toured the everglades

75. been fired from a job

76. seen the changing of the guards in london

no, but have been to london and wish i could go back

77. broken a bone

finger in basketball in elementary school

78. been on a speeding motorcycle

79. seen the grand canyon in person

80. published a book

81. visited the vatican

82. bought a brand new car

83. walked in jerusalem

84. had your picture taken in the newspaper

85. read the entire bible

86. visited the white house

87. killed and prepared an animal for eating

watched my teammates in thailand... i would not participate.

88. had chickenpox

89. saved someone's life

90. sat on a jury

91. met someone famous

92. joined a book club

93. lost a loved one

94. had a baby

95. seen the alamo in person

96. swam in the great salt lake

97. been involved in a law suit

98. owned a cell phone

99. been stung by a bee

dang that's long. your turn :)

Ella's first birthday

2008-09-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Last Sat. we had a big ol' birthday bash for Ella at the house. It went pretty well. We had quite a few people over... maybe too many for a one year old to handle, but it was all in good fun. She was a wonderful baby, ate some cake, and got some pretty awesome presents. Even though I am sad at times that she is already one, I am always so excited to see all the new things she will do. For example we started learning baby signs together and so far she has mastered the sign for "more" and "light." So cool. I love that she is communicating with me before she can even talk! I can't wait to experience all the new things that will happen this next year.

in a blink of an eye watch me grow

2008-09-06T10:38:00.000-07:00

Last night I was cleaning out an old box of stuff when I came across a present I had received at a baby shower before Ella was born. It was a picture frame keepsake kit. You make an imprint of your baby's foot and hand and then put a picture between them. So cute.... the thing is I forgot all about it and my baby is almost one already! I was sitting there upset with myself for being too busy this last year to ever get around to doing it when I realized I was really sad. I mean really sad. I pretty much was on the verge of tears. I kept setting there wondering why I was so upset and then it hit me. My baby is growing up. She will be one on the 10th and I can't even believe it. Most of the time I am very happy when I think about her growing up and all the new things she will experience, but last night I hated it. I no longer can lay her down in my arms and rock her to sleep.... she won't let me. I no longer can fall asleep with her on the couch... once again she won't let me. She no longer is trying to crawl towards me, but trying to walk away from me. You might think I am being dramatic or over-exaggerating, and maybe I am, but I can't help it! I gave birth to her and now she is well on her way out of the house. Ok, I know that is a while away, however, is it not my job to get her ready to be on her own? Sigh. I just hope she will always know how much I love her. So, I want to tell everyone that if you just had a baby or when you have a baby cherish EVERY moment while they are little! I know that everyone says that, but honestly it is so true. I do not know where this last year went. I wish I would have taken more pictures and spent more time just enjoying her. So, I have decided that until she no longer lets me I am going to go down stairs after she falls asleep and pick her up and rock her. This is the only time these days that she is still and lets me hold her. I will try to cherish this time until it also ends. I will leave you all with some wonderful pics....

Ella update

2008-06-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

It's been forever so I think I need to catch everyone up on all the things my precious baby is doing these days :)

Not only is she a great crawler, she loves to swim and I don't mean in the pool. This is the way she crawls. (it has also been referred to as the worm). It's hard to explain, but for those of you who have seen it you know what I am talking about.

She also has been standing up for a while now. She loves to stand up ALL the time. She has been starting to cruise around by holding on to stuff, but she is not the best at that.

About a week ago she stated waving! It's sooo stinkin cute, especially when she waves at herself in the mirror!

Another cute thing.... whenever she is really excited she makes these grunting noises that sound like a motor trying to start. It's pretty funny.

Oh and the best thing is that she gives hugs now. WHEnever we pick her up she grabs you around your neck and hugs so tight. It's the best feeling in the world!

She also is cuter than ever because her front teeth caME in with the c `ute` st (she's helping me write this as we spe a`k along WITH bitting the comp)`. `;`) ok I was saying, she looks stinkin cute because her front teeth are in and she has the cutest space between them.

I also think she might have red hair..... it's coming in more red all the time.

She also LOVES to laugh especially after she sneezes. :) Her dad is the best at making her laugh. It doesn't take much, all you have to do is shake your head. :)

She also has started saying dada ALL the time. The only problem is she says it to everyone. :)

She also has her first attachment.... she is in love with this little puppy stuff animal my mom got her. Whenever you give it to her she hugs it so tight. Once again too cute!

I'm sure there is more, but that is all I can think of at the moment..... we love and miss you all!

things I love

2008-05-07T08:30:00.000-07:00

baby hugs

baby kisses

baby bottoms

baby clothes

pretty much anything baby

chocolate chip cookies with milk

lily and james

the fact that kenny always does the dishes

adventures with kenny

spring flowers

sunny days

calzone jones

friends

watching ella in the bath

family

ella trying to talk to everyone she meets

singing at the top of my lungs in the car

taking ella for walks

reading on the porch

being a stay at home mom

being independent

realizing who i am

as i sit here and think about it the list could go on and on. there are so many things to be thankful for! i am so blessed and so thankful for everyone in my life. all the good and all the bad because it has made me who i am.

you know you're a mom when....

2008-04-24T20:10:00.000-07:00

When I was in labor with Ella I had a pretty good amount of time to think/worry. That might sound weird, but when you have an epidural anything is possible. seriously! I took two pretty awesome naps during labor. So, like I was saying I was in labor and thinking. I was just a few hours away from becoming a mom and everyone wanted to know if I was ready for it. It was hard for me to know if I was ready for many reasons, but one was that I didn't even feel like a mom. I would wonder if it was possible to have a baby and not feel like a mom. When I think of moms I think of my mother and maybe kenny's mom, not me. Moms seem to have it all together. Almost like they have super powers. They can keep an eye on a ton of kids at once, while they are screaming, fighting, making messes and on top of that do all the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house and have dinner ready on the table when Kenny gets home. Well, I was not like that at all not one bit! Sometimes it was hard for me to get all that done before Ella. So, I was nervous. While I am still far from having the kinds of powers were I can some how miraculously get everything done I want to, while watching Ella. I'm telling you all of this because it has taken almost 8 months for me to feel like a true mother and this is what finally did it.....

1. The first time I really felt like a mom is when Ella started to crawl. (It's more like an army crawl, but just as destructive) Nothing will make you feel more like a mom then chasing your daughter around the house all day long saying sentences you never thought you would say..... "No sweetie, we don't pull or eat kitty's tails." "We don't eat kitty food or kitty toys." "Ella no! We do not play with our poopy diapers." "Sigh, Ella people aren't supposed to lick the tv or other people's legs." And finally, "No! It is not ok to bite mommy there!"

2. The second thing came with a new hobby. (maybe more like an obsession) It has made me feel more like a mom than ever. It's called ebay. Come to find out many moms sell brand new baby clothes on ebay. My favorite baby store is gymboree and there is tons of it on ebay! So for a few days now I have been shopping on ebay for summer clothes for Ella and then it just hit me. I am such a mom. I have been spending hours shopping for Ella and not only that I'm fighting other moms for baby clothes. Seriously I've been getting fired up. I found some very cute things I wanted and had been bidding on them. Well two freaking minutes before the bidding was other these women starting attacking me with higher bids. They are like professionals. I don't see how they could type them in so fast because by the time I could get any bids in they were already way past me and then stole my items! I was so pissed. I actually thought to myself... don't these women have lives? Do they just sit at their computers all day just stealing other people's items at the last minute?! Then it hit me... I am just like them. I have been doing the same thing for most of my day. I have become a stay at home mom who wants to buy their kid cute clothes without having to haul Ella and all her many important things to the mall and then try to shop with all of it.

So, yeah I'm a mom. I might be a young mom and I might not always do the best "mom" things, and I might not have special powers, but for the first time I feel like an actual mom and I am proud of it!

that a boy james

2008-03-25T20:23:00.000-07:00

i'm sure you all will be pleased to know that kenny and i have started watching lost. we bought the first season a little while ago and decided to give it a chance. we are more than half way done with the season and i'm pretty sure i love it. i'm excited about catching up to the current season.

the new cat james is doing great. lily and him are finally getting along real well. they wake me up most mornings wrestling, which i fine cute. this morning however, was a different story. my mom called me, which woke me up (wasn't too happy about that), while i was talking to her i walked into the kitchen to get a drink. i noticed that james was real into his toy. around the house we have quite a few cat toys, mostly fake mice. so like i said, i noticed that james was real into his mouse, which looked more real than usual, but i thought it was just because it was all wet. he was liking it like crazy. i didn't think too much of it though. well about five minutes later i walk back into the kitchen and he is ripping the toy into pieces. my first thought was ella is about to start crawling and i don't need little pieces of cat toy everywhere so i yell at him to stop and move him away from the toy. the toy.... more like a real freaking mouse! i could have crapped my pants right there! so instead of being calm i of course start scream, which freaks my mom out. i pretty much just hung up on her so i could figure things out. ok it was not just a dead mouse, it was a dead bleeding everywhere mouse! so all i could bring myself to do is put a broom over it and try to keep james away. (for some reason lily was scared of it). so of course i call kenny and tell him that he has to come home now. actually i called him freaking out and screaming a bit, which now i think was a bad idea because i'm pretty sure he thought ella had died. (but come on i had a dead, bleeding mouse in my kitchen!) ok so he came home and picked up the mouse. we then see that there is blood all over the kitchen floor. i mean everywhere. either the mouse was running around while it was bleeding or james played with it while it was bleeding before he tried to eat it. oh and i forgot to mention that they mouse did not have skin. that's right james had eaten all of his skin. i could see his freaking organs. i'm starting to freak out just thinking about it. SERIOUSLY GROSS! but as gross as it was, i'm glad james killed it. lily has been scared of something under the frig for about a month. i'm sure it was that stupid mouse. so i think i'm going to let james keep his claws. they have definitely come in handy!

2008-03-11T19:19:00.000-07:00

so here it is my second post. i guess i have to write in these things more often than i thought. i just figured i would wait a while and then i might actually have something to write about.

tonight i had class at the brown county high school. i am currently taking two classes. i am slowly working towards my nursing degree. i actually enjoy my classes though. before i had ella class was pretty much a dreaded thing. i mean sometimes it was interesting, but i much rather be sleeping or hanging out with friends. now, however, i actually find myself getting excited about going to class. it's like my retreat from being a mom and wife. don't get me wrong i love staying home and taking care of ella.... and kenny, but it's just nice to sit and have intelligent conversation. talking with ella is kinda one sided... at least for now.

yesterday kenny and i went and got another cat. the main reason for the cat was not that we wanted another pet, but because lily is driving us crazy! she is so attention hungry since we brought ella home. she follows me around all day long and the second i sit down has to be on my lap. so, i decided she needed a playmate. so the new cat's name is james. we named him james because of harry potter's parents "james and lily. lame i know, but we love it all the same. james is really shy and hasn't warmed up to kenny and i yet, but he's getting there. actually he likes me a lot more then kenny right now, but that's just because i am home all day with him. we haven't introduced the cats to each other yet though. as we all know lily can be a bit of a bitch so i think i'm going to wait a while before that happens.

i guess i should update everyone on ella. on monday she was officially 6 months old! i can't believe half a year is already gone! her tooth is almost all the way in now... too cute! which is good because she is way less fussy now. she still loves to roll over, but just the other day she figured out that if she keeps rolling in a continuous motion she can actually move around the room. today i walked to the bed room and back and she had rolled from one side of the living room to the other in a matter of seconds. it was pretty cute though... she was under the coffee table talking to the cat.

ok so there it is. hope you enjoy and i miss you all!

first time

2008-02-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

well i think i am going to give this blog thing a shot. mainly because i feel like i am so bad at keeping in touch with people. hopefully this will be a way to catch up on others and let them do the same with me.

so a few new things....

1. ella is getting her first tooth! It's so exciting and a little frustrating. it's going to be so cute, but she is more fussy because of it. (for those of you who care it's her bottom middle right tooth) ;)

2. there are so many places and things i want to do in my life. the problem is i feel like i will never have enough time. which makes makes me wonder what i am doing in nashville, in because it definitely is not on top on my list.

3. I bought three cds off of itunes yesterday that i love! Ingrid Michaelson, A Fine Frenzy, and Yael Naim. you should check them out, they are real good!

i also would like to say how much i enjoyed visiting knoxville last week. it was so much fun seeing our friends again! plus knoxville is just a fun town to be in. so, everyone i hung out with.... i greatly enjoyed it and hope we can do it again soon!