Thursday, January 22, 2009

new direction

So, I went to the doctor's yesterday bc my left ear has been ringing for the past week and will not stop. It's quite annoying! What's also annoying is the visit I had. First I am told that they will not do anything for my ear until it has been ringing for over a month. That's crazy! I'm finding it hard to concentrate, even sleep but I have to wait a month? Since I was there I thought I would ask about my chest xray since no one had called me. She informed me that it was normal, but since my tb test for positive I still had to do the treatment to keep the disease from being active. Blah. So, apparently you try to do treatment through the health department bc it's kinda expensive. So, the dr. called over there to get me all set up. However, they kept arguing about whether I should have the treatment or not. By this time I'm real confused. Finally, the dr asks me what my tb test measured at. I said 5 mm, which she then hung up the phone and informed me that if a test is measured at 5 mm then it is negative. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? So, really my test was NEVER negative, someone just didn't know what they were doing when they read it. Sigh.... I am glad I never had tb, but man what a freaking mess to have dealt with. So, the tb drama is over! I hope.. :)

In other news... lately I have felt like I have no purpose. I know I am a mom and a wife and don't get me wrong I LOVE it, but I mean more in a ministry sense. I'm not particularly welcomed to have a ministry of my own at our church or to really help Kenny that much... not real sure why they see a problem with that, but I'm trying to get over it. :)  I had really been wondering if I should do this whole nursing thing or not. I love science and the idea of being a nurse, but it seems like most people just want to make a lot of money. I want to be helping people! So, I was reading one of my books preparing for class and I found this...

"Traditional female roles of wife, mother, daughter, and sister have always included the care and nurturing of other family members. From the beginning of time, women have cared for infants and children: thus, nursing could be said to have its roots in the home. Religion has also played a huge role in the development of nursing. It was the Christian value of "love thy neighbor as thy self" and Christ's parable of the Good Samaritan that had a significant impact on the development of Western nursing. Early religious values, as self-denial, spiritual calling, and devotion to duty and hard work, have dominated nursing throughout history. For some time, nurses themselves believe it was inappropriate to expect economical grain from their calling to be a nurse." 

I know it's kinda long, but I thought it was pretty neat. I'm not at a christian college, nor am I surrounded by christians, yet in this standard nursing book I found that. It goes on to say how women only became nurses once they felt God had called them to help people in that way. They were actually living out the spiritual gift of hospitality. This gave a renewed longing to be a nurse. I am not interested in all the 21st century reasons I should be a nurse. I want to help people and I'm not sure I should get paid so well to do so. I have no idea where I will work when I am done or where Kenny and I will even end up, but I know that I want to be different. I can only pray that God will show me a way I can use nursing to help those who need nursing care and can't afford it, or those who don't know they need it, ect. This life is too short to worry about all the things we need instead of what those around us need. I don't want to waste my life trying to chase the "american dream." I want to tangibly live out the ideas of the church in Acts. I can only pray and believe God will guide me through every step of the way. 


Courtney said...

oh, geez. i thought doctors were supposed to be brilliant. our prayers worked! :)

Betsy said...

congrats on not having tb. are you guys coming down for homecoming? i'm excited to catch up. i've been thinking along the same lines about stuff.

Anonymous said...

I love you. So I guess we can start kissing again?



Going Weston said...

What an amazing entry. I love your life, and you, and your family. Not so much kenny, but Ella definitely. I hope I get to see you guys soon.